Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize