The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
