forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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