My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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