Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Randomize
