This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize