Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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