Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
