i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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