i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
