omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
