I just made out with a guy for $7.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The uberlube is also flammable
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
