the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
