How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
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We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
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We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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