I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
