he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
