your room smells of hookers.
And success
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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