Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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