the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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