so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?