This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
