No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...