I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
