Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  only room for one pussy in that bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy. (612): only room for one pussy in that bed. http://tfl.nu/8gho
  Replies (9) Good night (799) Bad night (2320)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway http://tfl.nu/le5e
  Replies (18) Good night (1017) Bad night (3652)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating http://tfl.nu/8w72
  Replies (36) Good night (1484) Bad night (3620)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits. http://tfl.nu/7sfp
  Replies (25) Good night (1222) Bad night (4724)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD. http://tfl.nu/zazo
  Replies (7) Good night (3237) Bad night (1053)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack http://tfl.nu/hvnz
  Replies (6) Good night (3135) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour. http://tfl.nu/o2dj
  Replies (6) Good night (3170) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in. http://tfl.nu/fxk7
  Replies (8) Good night (665) Bad night (3172)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment. http://tfl.nu/tvxk
  Replies (1) Good night (1137) Bad night (2366)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying. http://tfl.nu/uj2j
  Replies (3) Good night (2052) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know http://tfl.nu/nr32
  Replies (3) Good night (1978) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with

  (509): View more from Washington

  Isn't life beautiful?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with (509): Isn't life beautiful? http://tfl.nu/f406
  Replies (13) Good night (2019) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat

  (830): View more from Texas

  You are so not ready for motherhood

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat (830): You are so not ready for motherhood http://tfl.nu/j27j
  Replies (3) Good night (922) Bad night (1728)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade. http://tfl.nu/0t6i
  Replies (12) Good night (1429) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..

  (707): View more from California

  WOAH TOO HIGH

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted.. (707): WOAH TOO HIGH http://tfl.nu/n7qo
  Replies (3) Good night (916) Bad night (350)

Randomize