I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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