whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
