in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
