you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
