so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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