Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
