i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
