We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
