Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
