Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
we made out on top of his cat.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
