non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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