PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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