I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
