We're like a lot better than the average bears
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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