fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
