I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
