Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
