Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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