I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
