So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
