it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
