I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
