This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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