i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
only you would photoshop your dick
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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