my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
