My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
