WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
