I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
