So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
