Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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