Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
only if we run a train.
done.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Alive.
So much puke
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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