just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
