We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
