CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
cat food counts as protein by the way
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
