we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize