i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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