If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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