They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
