I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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