she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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